just need to vent...

today was one of those days...i try to be positive on here but some days are hard and just suck...so before work i was having some issues but i got thru them...then work it was so hot and i had to work longer hours cause the kids got out of school early...and it was just long and hard and the kids were not listening good...and we had to be outside alot even though it was hot and it was just one of those days...then i came home just feeling crappy...and alone in away...tommys so close to being home and i cant wait...thankfully i was able to talk to tiffany and she just made me feel so much better...im so thankful to have good friends that can just cheer u up when ur down...=)i dont feel that bad right now so i guess thats a positive thing...

My Name Tag...

So tonight for fhe mom talked/read a story from the ensign about a missionary and his name tag...she asked me and brett to reflect on our name tag and what it meant to us. oh my gosh...i can remember before i went on my mission a good friend of mine telling me she was jealous i got to wear a name tag with jesus christs name on me each and everyday and to never take it for grantid. I remember thinking ok yeah. But i never really knew what she meant until i now long for that sometimes. I miss my mission so much some days. I miss the great joy i felt, I miss the people i met that became my family. I miss represently my savior each and everyday. I miss it and im just so grateful for it. I think how lucky i am cause everyone doesn't get to represent there savior the way i got to. I can remember times on my mission when i would think something, or want to do something, and then i would stop myself because i would remember who i was representing. It was such a good reminder and i hope i can continue to remember that and strive to be that way even though i dont physically have his name on me. I hope i can always remember this quote and live up to it... "Live your life so that those who know you, but don't know Him, will want to know Him, because they know you."

some times it takes time to see the fruits of our labors...

What a blessing today i had the opportunity to witness a baptism. And such a special one to me. last week i got a text from kristina saying she would be baptized this sunday and she even asked me to give a talk. I have been so emotional all week as i think and ponder how exciting this is. you may wonder why this is so so so special to me. Dec 26th 2009 i came in contact with kristina in new jersey on my mission. She was a media referral and we got a text message to take her a book of mormon. I had the great privilege of being able to share the gospel with her on my mission and watch her grow. after i came home from my mission she still was not baptized yet but i always knew kristina knew the church was true. a few months after i came home i found out kristina was moving to rancho cali to live with her bf. I was excited for her to live so close to me. Then a few months later i found out they got married and then to be able to witness her baptism today was just so so special to me. I am so grateful i got to be apart of it. it was so funny cause she asked me to give a talk and i was crying so hard at the beginning i couldnt even speak. its amazing how the spirit and really just take over sometimes. Its amazing how things can touch ur heart so deep and just bring that joy that means so so much in life. The gospel is true and im so glad to have it bles my life. I so grateful to see how it can change other peoples lifes as well and make them so so happy.

nice to be reminded...

in the last week my little sister caitlin made me aware of the most touching story. she often babysits for a lady in our stake. Well she told me that the ladys sisters baby, so her neice was in need of a liver for a diease she had. i thought this was so sad. she later made me aware of this familys blog and i began reading it. oh my gosh i was brought to tears and i read what this mother and family and poor little 7 month old baby was going thru. this sweet little baby girl went to heaven last week. i have continued to read this blog and have been amazed at how it has touched my life. i started thinking about how when i have kids its going to be so important to me to cherish every moment i have with them and what matters most. Soemtimes we just get caught up in life and everything we have to do, that we dont take time for the ones we love most. We dont always treat them the way we should. We look past the same moments that matter most. I have been truly amazed to watch what friends of this family have done to help with this sweet family and all the medical bills they have. its truly amazing. it shows me that there are still great people in the world willing to help one another in need. if any of you would like to read a very touching blog or would like to donate to this family...here are the links...

http://aniandmatttaylor.blogspot.com/

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Bows-for-ruby/241863879180231?sk=info

my week and week end...

Well this has actually been an eventful week end for me and i had lots of fun...and im proud to say that i actually have been doing good with my goals...not perfect but im not perfect...when i fall short i got to pick myself up and keep trying dont give up...i got a calender to mark it off..i know may sound lame but for me to be able to look at the calender like wow i did that all those days it makes me proud of myself...ha ha...so i have realized that something i love so much is to ride bikes at the beach...any chance i get i will go...new favorite hobby for sure...something about being at the beach on a bike just makes me super happy...so friday we were able to go as a family (minus brett =( he had to work...) but we brought an adopted brother jr...ha ha...we had lots of fun..just riding together and then rushed home and took the fastest shower and went off to hang out with jr, helton, and boo. we went to a dance..its been a while since ive actually hung out like that...had lots of fun even though they probly thought i was the lamest..ha ha...it was just fun to hang out with them again...we stayed out way too late for my grandma self...ha ha...sat i got to go to the temple for the first time with one of my sweetest friends beca...(im sad ti say i didnt take any pics...) but it was very special for me to be there with her and her parents are so nice they treated us to dinner after...it was way fun...and church of course today was super uplifting as always...thats about it for now...

i MiSs ToMmY....

Do you ever have those days where there just harder then others and you just want what you cant have? well thats how i feel right now...i just wish i could have my tommy back with me. I long for that more then anyone will ever know and i cant wait for the day until we will be reunited again...i miss him so so much...

gOaLs...

Do you ever feel like you have lots to work on and your not making any progress towards your goals. well thats been me lately. I feel like i can be so much better so i decided to put my foot down, suck it and try a little harder...I set 2 daily goals for myself and ive been able to stick to them for 7 days now and it feels so good i cant even begin to tell you...Now hopefully i can keep it up...from what i hear is after 21 days it becomes a habit so thats the goal. Life is simple but it just feels happy, all thanks to heavenly father that is. Yesterday in the singles branch we had lots of changes come... Its sad to see great leaders go but its always good to have change. Life hasnt been too too exciting...just working and staying busy as usual but i am trying to blog weekly so here it is. I have a confusion. Ive found something i love. Over the summer twice we have taken bikes down to the beach to ride. It is just so much fun to me for some reason i just love it. I have been wanting a bike of my own for a while now and my mom loves to find good deals at yardsales. Shes so thifty..ha ha...im trying to save money like crazy so sometimes i tend to be a tightwod...ha ha...anyways we ended up finding a new bike(it had only been used once) for me at a yard sale...it was such a great deal..($50) im so excited to hopefully get lots of use out of it...ha ha..well thats my interesting life these days...hope something more exciting happens in the future...=)